If you ever wondered how Mother’s Day impacts adoptees, here are my raw, sincere reflections.
Each day you cross my mind, some more than others, especially today and every Mother’s Day. Today is the day dedicated to celebrating you. Celebrating us. But there is no us. I never experienced you in a way that calls for celebrating.
Missing “Mom” Memories
I never heard your voice read me a bedtime story or comfort my fears. I don’t even know your voice. I never asked you why the sky is blue or where babies come from. I never had anyone to call “Mom.” I never saw my own baby photo. I never fell into your arms after taking my first steps. I never made you a card or a homemade gift. I never experienced the joy of telling you about my childhood crush or shopping for my first date. I never shared my hopes and dreams with you. I never had a single opportunity to make you proud.
Celebrating Today
Today, I celebrate him. Today, I celebrate my greatest gift. Today, I celebrate my choice to take a different path. Today, I celebrate all the “Mom” memories I do have. Today, I celebrate the overwhelming joy of seeing my reflection in another person for the first time. Today, I celebrate every bedtime story I ever read to him. Today, I celebrate our beautiful bond. Today, I celebrate every card and homemade gift he made for me. Today, I celebrate every time I calmed his fears with my voice. Today, I celebrate every giggle, every hug and every time I carried him to bed. Today, I celebrate every one of his firsts and his bright future. Today, I celebrate the millions of moments he has made me proud. Today, I celebrate a love that makes me feel whole.
Today, I also celebrate what he will never have to experience. He will never have to wonder if I care. He will never feel left behind. He will never wonder what he looked like as a baby. He will never have to question my love. He will never have missing “Mom” memories.
Today, I celebrate the gift of motherhood and my journey of becoming a mother after growing up without one.
I want to hear from you. How does Mother’s Day impact other adoptees? How does being touched by adoption impact your feelings about Mother’s Day? Do you experience challenges and mixed emotions about motherhood? Please share your reactions to this post and your personal experiences in the comments.
Thank you for sharing the journey.
Nicole
Trusting to make the right decisions can be tough. It takes years to build confidence. Its not the sort of thing that simply just happens.
Pretty! This was a really wonderful post. Thanks for providing this information.
💜